CHAPTER 7
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BIKER BABIES...
After we rounded up all of the “Babies”, we called roll and found
that we had only rounded up one forth of the monsters. So it was
back to the hunt, and it didn’t take long before we found a bunch of
monsters (The fact that they were swinging from T.V antennas on top
of buildings made the task of catching them a wee bit more
difficult). So we were off, climbing step after step to the top of
Middleton’s one and only skyscraper. I of course tripped and
rolled down the stairs and crashed into every man, woman, and child
that happened to get in my way. “Hey mommy what’s that moron doing?”
“My baby! My baby!” “AHHH!” “Toby quit clowning around!” Eddy
scooped up my remains, put them in a bin, and took me (And some lint
I’d picked up on the floor) to the top of the stairs, and put me
back together.
We ran up to the roof and lunged at the monsters, but
instead of grabbing them, all that we managed to grab was the
antenna. “WAAAHH!!!” “I WANT MY MOMMY!!!” “AUGHHH!!!”
WOOSHH, ZOOOOM, “AUGHH! NOT AGAIN!!!”
Now you have
already figured out that the “WOOSHH” was Eddy, the monster babies,
and I flying off the T.V antenna at a gazillion miles an hour. The
“ZOOOOM” was that crazy motorcycle zooming right underneath us.
And finally the
“AUGHH! Not again!!!” was Eddy and I screaming for all we were worth
(Which at the moment was only about twenty-seven cents).
Off we went except this time I wasn’t driving (That
would have been a good thing except for the fact that the monsters
had control). “Augh!!!” “I want mommy!!!” And that wouldn’t have
even been so bad if it wasn’t for the fact that babies are really
lousy drivers (More crying and whimpering).
“Look out for the trash can!!!” I screamed. Now don’t
get me wrong hitting a regular trash can is something I usually do
every day. But when that trash can happens to be filled with snakes
that have just recently escaped from the zoo, and when you also
happen to be hanging from the tailpipe of a motorcycle, things tend
to get a little difficult. “I don’t care about the Ultra Boy just
get me out of this mess!!!” “Now Toby don’t get hysteri... UH OH...
Me neither Me neither!!!” Now you may be wondering about Eddy’s
quick change of heart, but you sure would if you were being driven
straight towards the Middleton Peanut Day parade.
On our little drive we managed to pick up: our school
principle who wouldn’t stop swearing, but since I’m a Christian I’ll
have to give you the Christian translation “ Why are you boys
unintentionally causing mass destruction to our parade? It is
very inappropriate and I believe I shall use immoral language and
perhaps cause you bodily harm.” We also managed to pick up
two mimes “ At least the mimes were quieter. Next we picked up an
innocent lady who the monsters thought would be fun to capture. And
finally we managed to hit captain peanut (The worlds largest peanut
that was dressed up to look like a man) except now he was more like
a captain Peanut-butter. “AUGHH!!! You’ve killed him!!!”
“Murderer!!!” “Anyone for peanut-butter and jelly?”
It was kind of hard to tell where the monsters were
taking us with all the flying vegetables around us, but it looked
sort of like a construction site, A CONSTRUCTION SITE!!!
“Where have I seen that big mound of dirt before?” “Back in
chapter three?” “Yeah that’s right, now I remember!” “AUGHH!!!” But
it wasn’t like this was something new because as if you remember,
we’d done this before except for the fact that we’d picked up a few
extra passengers, Principle Adams, The mimes,
and that poor lady. That was until “Whaaaa!” the poor lady fell off
of the bike and into the tallest tree in Middleton. “dere go da
pweddy lady.”
WHAP, WHAP,
WHAP, WHAP, WHAP!!!
Ahh the lovley
sound of police choppers. A police man stuck his head out. ”Come out
with your... oh I guess that wouldn’t work... well then uh..
um oh you have the right to remain... Oh I guess you are being
silent um duh.” I had a feeling that fooling these cops wouldn’t be
that difficult. “Let me see your licenses and registration.” “Hey.”
“Hey what?” “Do I smell doughnuts... yes I smell doughnuts back at
the police station.” “Doughnuts! I love doughnuts! Hey Opie turn
this babie around. The kid says he smells doughnuts!!!” “Yippee!
Doughnuts!” Now I know it wasn’t the most responsible thing to do
but getting arrested just isn’t my cup of tea. “Toby they could of
rescued us!” Oh no!
I had totally forgot that at the moment we
were all sailing two-hundred feet above the ground. “OOPS.” “This
is quite a predicament.”
make that one-hundred. “OOPS! X 2” “I believe that I shall
scream.” “ (excited silence from the mime)!!!“
Down to twenty.
“OOPS! X 73” “You are a pathetically ignorant person.” “EEP”
said the mimes. Hey we even managed to get the mimes to talk.
On the Toby scale of wackiness I’d give it a twelve out of ten. I’ll
save you all the crying, screaming, and the drugstore roof crashing
through but let’s just say that when I get out of this mess I’ll be
grounded until the year three-thousand seventy-two.
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